Writing

Satire

Hard Drive

Every Gang in Cyberpunk 2077 Ranked by How Much They’d Like Jackass
Stoner Immediately Forgets Spoiler
I Survived: My Mic Was Muted for Two Hours and No One Noticed
Fellow Criminal Insists Batman Ain’t Coming This Time
Opinion: My Controller’s Being Weird
5 Graphic Novels You Must Lie About Reading Before You Turn 30
Stranger Things Gave Me Unrealistic Expectations About Having Enough Friends to Play D&D

The Hard Times

Woman Spends $90 on Floor Tickets After Forgetting She’s 5’2″
5 Movies You Must Lie About Watching Before You Turn 30
30-Year-Old Suffers Three-Day Hangover From Walking by the Liquor Aisle
Goth Kid Plagued By Nightmares After Watching Lighthearted Rom-Com
Cop Makes Heroic Domestic Violence Arrest By Turning Himself In
We Swapped All the Malört at This Bar With Piss-Flavored Gasoline and No One Said Anything
I Knew This Band Way Before Everyone Else Because I’m Mommy’s Special Boy
“You’re All Caught Up” Pleads Concerned Instagram
Woman Delighted to Learn She’s Aged Out of Dating Local Musicians
Punk House Cat Bringing Home Dead Bird Becomes Highest Contributing Member of Household
Woman Watches 85 Episodes of Show She Doesn’t Like
Crust Punk Worried Gun Control Will Take His Belt
Battle of the Bands Runner-up Disputes Accuracy of Applause-O-Meter
Woman Buys 100 Boxes of Hair Dye Just for the Gloves
5 Cute Ways to Signal to Customers That Your Door Is Locked Because You’re Not Fucking Open
Anxious Woman Weighs All Possible Outcomes Before Ultimately Doing Nothing
Punk Sommelier Recommends Pre-2015 Franzia
Deranged Couple Has Baby On Purpose
Married Couple’s Friendsgiving Just the Two of Them
I Cut Toxic People Out of My Life by Ignoring My Sister Who has Blood Poisoning
Report: This Guy’s Hugs Last Too Long
Labor Day Hero: Retail Worker Enjoys Extra Three Minutes Pretending to Shit in Bathroom
30-Year-Old Still Unsure If They Can Swear in Front of Parents
Juggalo Elder Knows Over 1,000 Uses for Faygo
Rude Boy Knows Exactly What to Do for ‘Dancing with the Stars’ Audition
Woman at 10-Year High School Reunion Can’t Believe How Old Everyone’s Become
Hungover Replacements Horrified to Learn Band Had 40-Year Run
Punk on Fear Factor Won’t Stop Eating Bugs
If Wrestling’s Fake, Why Are So Many Of Them Dead?
Punk on The Price Is Right Hopes Next Showcase Includes Place to Crash
You Can Pry My Gun From My Kid’s Cold Dead Hands
We Bought the GG Allin Advent Calendar but Are Afraid to Open It
Pit Bull Rescues Crust Punk Despite Aggressiveness of Breed
OPINION: It’s Time to Put ‘Christ’ Back in ‘Xtina’
Ayn Rand Can Get It. Here’s Why
Activist Spreads HPV Awareness, HPV

Palette Swap

Academy Applauds Body Horror ‘The Substance’ for Making Audiences Look at Aging Woman

Reductress

Stylish Sunglasses for Looking Over to See Who The Fuck He Keeps Texting

Non-satire

Palette Swap

Sadrunning Cyberpunk 2077: How I Reached the Bleakest Possible Outcome in Night City

Hard Noise

10 Things We Learned From the New ‘Rock of Love’ Podcast

The Hard Times

10 Best Fictional Metal Bands For People Too Afraid to Experience Music in Real Life